Many of us turn to yoga & meditation in an attempt to “fix” various aspects of ourselves, our bodies, minds, emotions, & spirits. This journey takes us through diverse landscapes, some serene & others marked by profound challenges. As both a practitioner & a teacher of yoga, I find myself navigating a particular terrain.
At the age of 11, I unwittingly welcomed an uninvited companion into my life, a companion that would remain by my side through the ups & downs of adolescence & into adulthood. This unexpected guest went by the name of anxiety, & it entered my world with a quiet but persistent presence.
Anxiety, in its myriad forms, has emerged as an unexpected yet formidable teacher on my path. It serves as a mirror, unearthing my inner struggles, trust issues, & the deep-seated fear of relinquishing control. This paradoxical role of anxiety as an unwelcome yet invaluable guide propels me on a journey of self-awareness & self-acceptance, compelling me to confront facets of myself I might otherwise evade or deny. In its relentless spotlight, my vulnerabilities, insecurities, & doubts are brought to light.
My journey with anxiety has also been shadowed by a sense of shame & self-criticism, particularly as a yoga teacher. Western yoga often places disproportionate emphasis on the physical aspects, primarily asana (postures), often side-lining the deeper philosophical & emotional dimensions of this ancient practice. This skewed emphasis can foster a perception that a yoga teacher must embody an idealized image of serene poise & unblemished perfection. This expectation can be especially burdensome when one grapples with imperfections like anxiety.
The concept of “fixing” within the realm of yoga is not just unhelpful; it is profoundly counterproductive. It perpetuates the idea of our inherent inadequacy, fuelling a ceaseless cycle of striving & discontent. This mindset can be further detrimental to our mental & emotional well-being, driving us toward an unattainable ideal of perfection.
